MY MESSAGE TO THE FAARAXS: WHY SOMALI GIRLS REJECT SOMALI GUYS
The other day I had an
epiphany.
I was downtown with my friend
and we walked past this Asian bakery that had a really long line of customers
waiting to get in. The smell coming out of the store was amazing! We decided to
check it out and see what all the fuss was all about. We got in line and in
just 5 minutes, there were 10 more people waiting in line behind us. The guy
standing right behind us was actually Somali.
Anyway, my friend and I were
guessing what kind of Asian baked goods the store was selling and were
wondering if it'd taste good. The Somali guy behind us smoothly joined our
conversation. He asked "You guys haven't been in this store before have
you? I haven't". And then the three of us started talking about how the
long line drew our curiosity, leading to a willingness to try something
new.
Anyhow! To my surprise, we had
a completely normal conversation! And what made it better was that he
didn't look like he had ulterior motives for talking to us. The dude
was completely normal and he didn't sound or seem like the
"typical" Somali dude. I don't know how to
explain this but he was cultured and seemed really intelligent and
interesting. We talked about restaurants, food, and just random stuff. In the
end, he didn't ask for any of our numbers. We said bye to each other and walked
off in opposite directions. And you know what? If I ever see that guy on
the street again, I'd say hi what's up! I'm not really into Somalis but I would
have been willing to give this guy a chance.
And that's when it hit me...
Somali guys are usually
complaining that Somali girls are always turning them down. Many even
claim that if they'd been ajanabi, the girls would've been willing to talk to
them and might have even given them their numbers.
But that's not why! It's
all in the approach...
So here's my message to my
beloved Somali Faaraxs.
1. First of all, you need to
understand that a lot of girls will not be willing to give their number to a
stranger they don't know. Would you want your sister giving her number to some
random Somali man who approached her on the street? Why not? Think about this
before you complain about a Xaliimo turning you down.
2. Don't make your interest in
a girl that catches your eye overly obvious. That's a turnoff, at least for me.
Show a little bit of interest and be smooth! And act casual for God's sake.
Make her intrigued.
3. Be interesting. Be
different. Be unique. It's difficult to explain and I'm probably biased but I find most Somali guys to be
similar...no offense.
4. When you're with your homies
somewhere and you see a Somali girl walk by, please stop making it awkward for
her. Imagine yourself walking by a group of people who were talking and
laughing together and as soon as they see you, they suddenly stop talking and
openly stare at you. Even worse, a couple of them turn their heads almost 360
degrees to watch you walk by. Amidst the awkward silence, one of them runs
after you to talk to you.
So do you really expect a girl
to give you her number after being in that situation? Hell no.
5. If a girl refuses to give
you her number DO NOT GET AGGRESSIVE. This is the biggest no no!!!
I've been in this situation so
many times. It's horrible. If you act aggressive, do you really think she even
wants to see your face the next time you run into her?
I remember my cousin recently
telling me how she was at the bus stop one day when this
older Somali dude walked up to her. It was SO obvious he wanted to
talk to her and get to know her and whatnot. He said salam to her and asked for
her name. My cousin refused to tell him and he got aggressive saying it was her
duty to return his salaams. When she did so, he again asked for her name in an
aggressive manner. My cousin just ignored him and walked away from him. Guess
what he said to her? He said "Nin Somaali guurso". Marry a
Somali man. Unbelievable.
Waxaada xog ma ahan. If she is
rejecting you, what right do you have to get her number?
So to my beloved Faaraxs, when
you approach a girl, don't be so obvious. And be interesting! And if the girl
refuses don't get aggressive. Xog ma ahan!
I'm probably biased but this is
all based on the experiences of others and myself. So what do you
Xaliimos think? What is it you don't like about the approach of Somali guys?
Much love.
I think you ARE biased. I've encountered many guys who were respectful in their approach!
ReplyDeleteYou can't speak for anyone else either
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAnd my mum constantly complains about me marrying a somali girl and i tell her your all washed, when you have little girls like you saying' am not really into somalis. This is why i think you girls are a lost cause, after you and ajnabis don't materialise into anything, please don't come back to us.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteSister I love your blog. Everything you said was on point. You are speaking out against sexism, don't back down from this argument because it's an important one for our community. Your article was well thought out, and articulate, you have nothing to apologize about. I am in the process of creating a channel/blog, you have inspired me. I would like to have a safe space for Somali women.
ReplyDeleteI will give you the deets, once I get it going. Peace and Blessings.
Thank you for the kind words and for leaving your thoughts sister!! Happy I've inspired you as well!
DeleteHey girl it's me again check out my response video on Somali men https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_6kCTES8vo&t=30s
ReplyDeleteEvery thing you said was accurate asf! I'm not being biased here but it's like 80% of the population of somali dudes are like that .........ik it's a little offending to all the "respectable " somali dudes out their but it's TOTALLY the truth
ReplyDeleteAnd i saw some hate comments there and there people do u NEED comment or even read the whole thing at all if u not interested just leave the door is open 🚪
I kinda found it funny tho just yesterday my friend was complaining how "obvious " this dude looked coz he liked her and fun fact: the way somali's flirt dudes suck 100% I'm just saying making her irritated or annoyed is not gonna let fall in love with yah
Don't NEED to thank meh you're welcomed
And to any one who's THINKING I'm racist or something I'm somali and all the i said i experienced it
Wow MAN that's all i said but either that was just my point of view
Hope you'll safe out there
Thank you! Stay safe and healthy during these difficult times inshAllah!
DeleteThis is the prospective of a Somali guy from London, who is a bit of a Faarax, by that I mean hot nerdy, who spend half the week in the gym. From what I notice in my life, women from other culture are more welcoming to me, I enjoy a bit of harmless flirting, and banter. Usually for the sake of it, and nothing else. I am an extremely picky fella and when I invite someone for dinner, is because of the company and nothing more. I noticed my charm only works on women from other culture or Somali from older generation. Flirting with a Somali girl my age feels alien & mechanical, like I am trying to act instead of being myself. It's a turn off for me and for them.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is I find them the most beautiful women of all the races. But what's the point, I can't manage to enjoy conversing with them. Mind you, the other day I had a wonderful encounter with this 26 young girl through work, all innocent afcourse. After the discussion of work finished, she went full feminist on me, claiming women can run Somalia much better, she did mention some good points but isn't a conversation, you should have with someone you just met 😅, she was sweet afterwards, enjoyed my charm from the looks of it. But due to my lazy personality, I didn’t pursue it any further. I am the type that finds himself accidentally in a relationship without realising and just go with the flow. I might see her again, and see from there.
Never been the type to ask for numbers, and I hate strangers. Prefer people from my circle.
My advice to my brother’s out there, just enjoy life, focus on you, workout, have hobbies and date within your circle, if Somali women aren’t part of your circle. Tough luck, date the ones that are there.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and advice brother. Keep being yourself and you'll find someone who is compatible with you and likes you just the way you are.
DeleteSame to you dear 😉, Hope you find someone you are happy with. Our Somali community is slowly changing, and Interracial marriage will be part of our community. But we need to do it in a right way, A way for our culture and values to be passed down, so that we don’t get assimilated by the wider community. We need to reinvent ourselves, not as a group of race but to identify with our core values, culture, and language. Something like Latin America, they come in all shades and are one proud people. Fingers crossed 🤞, our community would progress to something like this.
DeleteAll the best to everyone, may you all find someone who is dear to you, to the fellas be open to dating outside, and to ladies if you are interested in a Somali guy let him know. Some guys would automatically assume you aren’t into us, I am guilty of that. Is a wrong mindset to have, and is hard to change.
All the best guys