THOUGHTS OF A SOMALI GIRL

I follow Humans of New York and the other day one of his photos really got me thinking...most of his posts do but this one, really had me thinking about how some parts of the Somali culture (and other cultures) can be really effed up: it isn't okay to express feelings of love and affection between spouses and even between parents and children. Growing up, and even to this very day, I never saw my parents express their love to each other - at least not in front of me. Forget kissing, I never saw them hold hands nor hug nor call each other names of affection such as macaanto or anything like that. Other Somali parents are the same with each other. Even with my siblings and I, my parents never hugged us...at least I don't recall it. I also don't recall my parents ever saying "I love you". I never noticed it as a kid, but now that I'm older, I'm really bothered by it...and I think it's because I've realized it has affected me. It bothers me becau...

Hi everyone! I haven't written anything in a while...school has been keeping me busy! It's my last year of undergraduate studies. Pray for me y'all! :) Anyway, this post is not advice for what brides should do on their wedding night. I want to talk about a serious problem in the Muslim community that disturbs me. A lot of Muslim girls believe that even if they were scared or nervous, they cannot refuse to have sex with their husbands on their wedding night because of the hadeeth that says a woman will be cursed by the angels until morning if she refuses. Instead of telling their new husbands they want to take things slowly, girls are resorting to some sort of patch that they stick on their arm that prevents their menstruation cycle from coming. Then, they take it off before their nikaah so that their period comes on their wedding day and then ta-da!! They have a “legitimate” reason to avoid having sex on their wedding night.   Others, force themselves to have sex ...

Okay so super serious conversation today... So I was watching a video (you can watch it   here ) uploaded by MyInvisibleChyrsalis, one of my fave YouTubers, where she talks about struggling with depression for months. She'd been uploading videos during her depression and I never would have guessed she'd been going through something. I really took it in how you never know what someone is going through on the inside. On the outside, they're cheerful, happy, and have everything going for them. It's all a facade...because inside, they're going through some serious shiz and you would never have even thought it. This is why you gotta ask people how they're doing and truly mean it. They could be smiling at you and it seems as if things are normal, but inside, the simple and sincere question of "How are you doing?" has made their day. I remembered the time when I was going through depression. I hid it from many people including my family. I di...

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes Cuz I need to know You say I'll never get your blessing 'till the day I die Tough luck my friend, but the answer is no! -"Rude", Magic Sound like your situation?  *Sigh*  The abuse of wali/guardian power. What a huge issue in the Muslim community. Many fathers reject a potential husband for their daughter for reasons like he's not of the same ethnic or racial background, he's not educated enough, he's not rich, etc. Serious ridiculousness. One of the duties of a Muslim father is to make sure that his daughter(s) get married to a suitable God-fearing man.  "The Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with come to you, then marry [her to] him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad). If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and disc...

Hello everyone! I saw something today that I just wanted to quickly share with y'all.  Humans are helpless when they are babies. We completely depend on our mothers. It  was an exhausting day and I was on my way home from class. I was on the bus. A young woman came in with a stroller. She didn't look much older than I. She sat down on the seat beside me. I watched her lift the edge of the blanket covering her baby's stroller so she could look through the small corner at her baby. Inside the stroller, underneath the canopy of a blue blanket, was an adorable little baby. He looked about 2 months old. The bus ride was rough and bumpy. Every now and then, the bus would be jolted and we'd all be jarred from our tired stupor. Each time, the young mother would lower her head to peek through the small corner. Checking on him. To see if he was okay. I'd look at the child each time his mother peeked in at him. He looked comfortable and kept staring at m...

I must say that there's a bit of an ajanabi (non-Somali) craze going on these days especially among the girls. It's quite prevalent among many masaajid girls. Once a white man converts to Islam and becomes a regular in the masaajid (mosque) they're all over him! This bothers me. In addition, there a lot of stories going around about Somali girls who have been divorced by their ajanabi husbands; the parents like to say this happened because the husband wasn't Somali.  Now, before y'all start the accusations, let me inform you that I am not an ajanabi hater. Neither am I a person who strictly stays with their "own kind"; race and/or culture is of no concern to me. Rather, this post is my sincere advice to my abaayo, my sister in kinship, or even to any other non-Somali woman, who is about to marry or is interested in someone who is ajanabi. My advise is based on the experiences of others and myself. So. About to marry an ajanabi? Interested in ...