THE SOMALI DELINQUENT PROBLEM

The number of Somali teenaged boys getting into the life of crime has increased significantly over the past few years. It is now a huge problem in the Somali community. I wanted to share my thoughts on possible solutions to this problem. I think the key are the parents (yes, I know this is a criticism of parents again but I'm not a Somali parent hater!). They are an important part of the causes and the solutions to this problem. An even bigger part of the problem and solution are these boys themselves. God gives people the ability to think. He also gives them common sense.

My thoughts:

Parents should acknowledge their son is troubled. I noticed that a majority of the mothers of these boys are in serious denial about the behaviour of their sons. It‘s frustrating to hear them go on about what "good boys" their sons are and how "smart" they are in school. Habaryar macaan! If he was such a good boy, habaryar, he would be helping you at home and staying out of trouble. If he was such a smart boy in school, habaryar, he would still be in school getting good grades and doing something with his life - not laze around at home having you clean his room and cook for him with no future and no high school diploma.

Furthermore, when other Somali mothers tell a fellow mother that their son is hanging out with the wrong crowd or was doing something wrong, she gets angry and says "Why are you watching my son for?" I mean I understand and agree that Somali mothers are nosy and love gossiping about other people‘s kids (majority of them) but this is for your own good!

When school administrators inform these mothers in denial about the bad behaviour of their sons, whether it is skipping or fighting with other kids, they get upset and angry. They deny that their son has a problem and actually blame the administrators for giving their son a hard time. Some actually take their sons to the mosque for ruqya because they believe their “good son“ has jinns or the evil eye which is causing the bad behaviour. It‘s ridiculous. The problem isn‘t due to the supernatural; the son is making his own bad choices. Do not ignore these early warning signs of bad behaviour mothers! You could stop the problem while it‘s in its early stages.

Parents, particularly the mothers, blame officers and the courts for putting their son in jail; their son apparently doesn‘t deserve to be in jail.  Um, you commit the crime, you do the time. That‘s the law. If they‘ve been proven guilty, they must serve their time in prison. Now, I am aware of the racial profiling and such that happens. But that's not what this post is about. If parents are defending their sons when they go to prison or always bailing them out each time they are arrested, what kind of message does that send these delinquent sons? That only shows them that they dont have to worry about their criminal behaviour because if they go to jail, their parents "have their back" to defend them and take them out on bail.

Parents should not be turning a blind eye. Or maybe they know deep down inside that their kid has a problem but they are keeping themselves in denial. Whichever it is, they cannot help their son with his problem if they do not acknowledge there is a problem in the first place. When they do, they can cooperate with school administrators and whoever to do something about the problem. Neither should they defend their sons when they are in the wrong and bail him out each time he is arrested. It only encourages their behaviour.

I also noticed that parents are not taking proper disciplinary action. There is no such thing as "Well what can I do about his behaviour? He's 16-years old". A child is never too old for the belt if he is disobeying the parents who are raising him. If a parent doesn't want to use physical punishment, there are other disciplinary actions. For example, parents allow their sons to be out late at night where he gets himself into trouble! Trouble always happens at night. Parents, give your son a curfew especially when living in "the hood" and do not give him so much free reign. Otherwise, you only have yourself to blame when you get a call at 2 am from the police station about your arrested son. Do not let them go out late at night nor allow them to stay out so late. If the son is over 18 years of age, he should not be financially supported at home with free meals where he can just come and go. Giving him a free ride does not entice him to change. Why should he? He has everything at home and this takes me to my next point.

These sons need to be given responsibility. Unfortunately, boys do not really have any household chores like washing the dishes or helping cook (apparently, it's shameful for a man to do these things). These boys need to be given more responsibility at home (I am aware that not all Somali boys are useless around the home; I know some who actually take turns washing the dishes with their sisters). These boys also need to be going to work or leave the home. They need to have a job and bring money home to support the family. This was what Somali fathers went through when they were younger and their sons also need to do the same especially if they decided to drop out of school. Of what use is a dropout living at home for free? And not helping out within the home? Send him to work!

In addition, fathers need to be an active part of their lives! Where are they? They are always in the background (I think the absence of the father even when he lives in the household is a whole other topic and post, it is such a huge problem. Plus, I'm not referring to all fathers). A majority of the fathers do not have an active part in their children's lives. For example, they do not check if homework is done or go to parent-teacher interviews. Mothers do that. It is the mother who actually sits down and asks her son/daughter about how he/she is doing at school and just about his/her life generally. Mothers actually do that more with their daughters than their sons. So what is the father who is supposed to do all that doing? All he does is go to work (if he even works), come home, go on Hiiraan or BBC Somalia, sleep and eat, and go out to the coffee shop at night to sheekay with friends.They don't really stop to ask about how their child is doing at school, ask about their friends, their hobbies, and their interests - it is quite sad. A father like that doesn't really affect daughters but it is very important for sons. Having a father like that is almost like having no father at all and that has been scientifically proven to lead to delinquent behaviour.

Fathers should sit down and have "man-to-man" conversations with their sons. Instead of constantly going online to read and listen to news about Somalia for hours on end, fathers should take the time to sit down with their sons and ask about school, his friends, his interests, etc. They should also to check to see if their homework has been completed if they're younger.

The boys themselves. Where is their common sense? I know that when you get into a life of drugs and gangs, it is difficult to leave and to leave safely. But what they could do is speak to their parents or maybe their teacher at school. The point is, they should try to do something about the problem. Or the moment they realize that fellow classmates or maybe someone in the neighbourhood is trying to "recruit" him, he needs to talk to his parents right away. And possibly move somewhere else.

There are many community organizations that are willing to help one change. Take advantage and reach out. I'm sure there are some Somali boys that are trying to leave the life of crime and do something positive with their lives and I wish them luck and to have help from God. One cannot change a person but you can guide them to the right way; whether they take that path for themselves is ultimately up to them.

So I think that‘s enough about the Somali community. Hopefully my next post will be about something different!